Fun Page
Due to popular demand here is the funny cat page...
Ellskitz Cats
Gino at Christmas |
Betty Boop has a bad hair day |
Bailey waits for breakfast |
What you looking at? |
 ? |
 Never mind that Andrex Puppy |
 |
 |
 |
 |
 Candy - is pink her colour? |
Other strange and humorous cats
Cool Cat |
Wrap up well for winter |
We all know Persians are intelligent! |
Little Red Riding Cat |
Singing along a cat |
A Flock of Cats |
Teeth hygiene is very important for cats |
 |
 |
 |
How to bathe a cat
1. Thoroughly clean the toilet
2. Add the required amount of shampoo to the toilet water, and have both lids lifted.
3. Obtain the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom.
4. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close both lids (you may need to stand on the lid so that he cannot escape). CAUTION: Do not get any part of your body too close to the edge, as his paws will be reaching out for any purchase they can find
5. Flush the toilet three or four times. This provides a "power wash and rinse" which I have found to be quite effective."
6. Have someone open the door to the outside and ensure that there are no people between the toilet and the outside door.
7. Stand behind the toilet as far as you can, and quickly lift both lids"
8. The now-clean cat will rocket out of the toilet, and run outside where he will dry himself."
Sincerely, The Dog
Words of wisdom
Cat's motto: No matter what you've done wrong,
always try to make it look like the dog did it.
~~~~
Questions that people have asked on a
pet food companies 0800 help line
My cat just came in from the garage and I was
wondering - how many calories are there in a mouse?
I have a neutered male cat. How old should he be
before I can breed him?
How can I keep my cat from stealing my husband's
toothbrush?
My cat passed a stool on the indoor rug and it's
stuck in the vacum cleaner. Any suggestions?
How do I stop my cat from giving food to the dog?
Do you know how to toilet train a cat?
~~~~
Cats Rules Of Life
Although cats are the best and most wonderful creatures on this planet,
they are quite bizarre... After Conspiring with the Cats Association for
Taking over Earth (CATE), I have managed to steal some Top Secret
information about the mysterious the guardians of the underworld. This
is their rules of life (that every cat MUST stick to) in order to take
over the world! But how these rules will help to achieve their
objectives still remains a total mystery to humans.
BATHROOMS:
Always accompany guests to the bathroom. It is not necessary to do
anything. Just sit and stare but occasionally rub their legs.
DOORS:
Do not allow any closed doors in any room. To get door open, stand
looking sad at the humans. Once door is opened, it is not necessary to
use it. After you have ordered an "outside" door opened, stand halfway
in and out and think about several things. This is particularly
important during very cold weather, rain, snow, or mosquito season.
CHAIRS AND RUGS:
If you have to throw up, get to a chair quickly. If you cannot manage in
time, get to an Oriental rug. If there is no Oriental rug, shag is good.
When throwing up on the carpet, make sure you back up so it is as long
as a humans bare foot or expensive clothing.
HAMPERING:
If one of your humans is engaged in some activity and the other is idle,
stay with the busy one. This is called "helping," otherwise known as
"hampering." Following are the rules for "hampering:"
When supervising cooking, sit just behind the left heel of the cook. You
cannot be seen and thereby stand a better chance of being stepped on and
then picked up and comforted.
For book readers, get in close under the chin, between eyes and book,
unless you can lie across the book itself.
For paperwork, lie on the work in the most appropriate manner so as to
obscure as much of the work as possible or at least. Pretend to doze,
but every so often reach out and slap the pencil or pen. Bite when
you're moved on.
When a human is holding the newspaper in front of him/her, be sure to
jump on the back of the paper. Humans love to jump.
MOST IMPORTANT When human is working at computer, jump up on desk, walk
across keyboard and write a short story. Bat at mouse pointer on screen
as if it were real. Then lay in human's lap across arms, hampering
typing in progress.
WALKING:
As often as possible, dart quickly and as close as possible in front of
the human, especially: on stairs, when they have something in their
arms, in the dark, and when they first get up in the morning. This will
help their co-ordination skills.
BEDTIME:
Always sleep on the human at night so he/she cannot move around. Even
better- lie on his or hers face, making sure your arse is right on their
nose. When she is wearing an expensive silk nightie, don't forget to paw
it. This will create lovely patterns!
LITTER BOX:
When using the litter box, be sure to kick as much litter out of the box
as possible. Humans love the feel of kitty litter between their toes.
The smell is also very attractive.
HIDING:
Every now and then, hide in a place where the humans cannot find you for
a few days. This will cause the humans to panic (which they love)
thinking that you have run away or are lost. Once you do come out, the
humans will cover you with love and kisses and you will probably get a
treat.
SLEEPING:
In order to have enough energy for playing, a cat must get plenty of
sleep (at least 16 hours per day). It is generally not difficult to find
a comfortable place to curl up. Any place a human likes to sit is good,
especially if it contrasts with your fur color.
If it's in a sunbeam or near a heating duct or radiator, so much the
better. Of course, good places also exist outdoors, but have the
disadvantages of being seasonal and dependent on current and previous
weather conditions such as rain. Open windows are a good compromise.
HUMANS:
Humans have three primary functions: to feed us, to play with and give
attention to us, and to clean the litter box. It is important to
maintain one's Dignity when around humans so that they will not forget
who is the master of the house. Humans need to know basic rules. They
can be taught if you start early and are consistent. You will then have
a smooth-running household.
FOOD:
In order to get the energy to sleep, play, and hamper, a cat must eat.
Eating, however, is only half the fun. The other half is getting the
food. Cats have two ways to obtain food: convincing a human you are
starving to death and must be fed NOW; and hunting for it oneself. The
following are guidelines for getting fed.
When the humans are eating, make sure you leave the tip of your tail in
their dishes when they are not looking.
Never eat food from your own bowl if you can steal some from the table.
Never drink from your own water bowl if a human's glass is full enough
to drink from.
Should you catch something of your own outside, it is only polite to
attempt to get to know it. Be insistent -- your food will usually not be
so polite and try to leave.
Table scraps are delicacies with which the humans are unfortunately
unwilling to readily part. It is beneath the Dignity of a cat to beg
outright for food as lower forms of life such as dogs will, but several
techniques exist for ensuring that the humans don't forget you exist.
These include, but are not limited to: jumping onto the lap of the
"softest" human and purring loudly; lying down in the doorway between
the dining room and the kitchen, the Direct Stare, and twining around
people's legs as they sit and eat while meowing plaintively.
You can download these images as your own wallpaper
Click on small image to display full image, right click and select 'Set as background'
